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The witches.town theme looks really good, I think this might be my new theme (at least when I'm using the simple UI).

>be Asian girl
> American tourist comes to ice cream booth where u work
> Always hear stories of how much Americans eat but never believe
> American tourist orders 1 ft tall cone of ice cream.
> Make it, give it, laugh whole time... You know it's a joke
> He begins eating it, bite by bite
> Oh dear God the legends are true.jpeg
5656.mp4

Ben Shapiro Drinks Horse Piss - this is a real ad that a real restaurant in mexico made betamax.video/videos/watch/22e

@debugninja there was probably some fat they could've cut around the middle, but I don't remember being that disappointed in how it ended. I'm more disappointed it's not legally available and long out of print.

USPol. The future leftists want 

I have a hookup story!

Once upon a time I dated a girl in college who wanted to have sex with me after a week of dating, and told me this at 9 AM on a Saturday morning via text message, on her way over. I declined because:
A) I wasn't ready to lose my virginity
B) Her hygiene was questionable
C) I had already used all my condoms for pranks

So when she came over I made her watch Star Wars: The Phantom Menace instead and she dumped me via text two days later.

THE END.

if you label yourself a "job creator", but all the jobs you create are shitty, underpaid, overworked positions with no long-term stability.... congrats, you aren't a "job creator", you're a "wage slaver".

(Please RT) How would you feel about news publications hosting their own Mastodon instances?

Does anyone else see this bug on mobile when switching between portrait and landscape? I feel likes it’s only a recent issue for me.

programming hot take 

programming hot take 

@selea None of the BSDs run well on my hardware. I don't care about the corperate nature of Linux, only the freedom respecting part.

"No," said the witch, "love potions are unethical. Magic can't make someone love you. Or even love you again."
The young person gave her a resigned nod and turned to leave.
"But," the witch said, "for cases like yours, I can do an acceptance potion."
"For my parents?"
"Yes."
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

hey there delilah

how is podcasting in brooklyn?

youre a thousand miles away

but i subbed to your patreon

for extra shows

Yes i imported a japanese language copy of vampire hunter D in the 90's, yes i had a supersayian vegeta shirt before supersayain was a thing in america, yes I think Social Distortion has a few perfect albums and I VOTE

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Banana.dog

Officially endorsed by @Gargron as a joke instance (along with freedom.horse). Things that make banana.dog unique as an instance.
- Federates with TOR servers
- Stays up to date, often running newest mastodon code
- Unique color scheme
- Strictly enforced rules
- A BananaDogInc company. Visit our other sites sites including betaMax.video, psychicdebugging and gonnaroll